Tag Archives: HUMOR

The Great California Potato Super Bowl

During the mid-1960s I was a student at Cerritos College in Norwalk, California. Cerritos had a football team called the Falcons and apparently, they were pretty good at the time. While I never attended one of their regular season games they did win a spot in a small college bowl game in Bakersfield called The Potato Bowl.

For whatever reason, several friends and I decided to make the drive. The Potato Bowl was played in a stadium that was literally a bowl dug into the earth and surrounded by bleacher seats.

Continue reading The Great California Potato Super Bowl

A Punchable Love Child!

The following photo was posted on Facebook by what I assume was a satire group. The claim was made that Ted Cruz spoke with the MAGA teenager about learning to live with “punchable face” syndrome. I’m not going to look it up but I’ll assume there is no such thing in the journals of medicine and it’s a joke. But, take a close look at the side by side photos and tell me you don’t see at least these two things:

  1. They both have faces that with a couple of Miller High Lifes in you, you’d be tempted to punch.
  2. MAGA boy could be Ted Cruz’ love child. There is obviously a shared DNA.

Is It Big Latex’ Advertising, Germophobia, or Just Ickiness?

People talk about the evils of big business, big tobacco, big pharma, big hospitals and all the other “big” that seem to be monopolizing our lives. After watching my son I have to now add “big latex” to the list.

When I was a kid the only rubber gloves I remember people having in their homes were a pair of thicker yellow gloves with fuzzy liners that some women used to ward off “dishpan hands.” I don’t recall my mother using those or anything other than her bare hands to wash dishes, kill a chicken, mop the bathroom floor, or scrub the tub and toilet.

Continue reading Is It Big Latex’ Advertising, Germophobia, or Just Ickiness?

More Signs of Getting Old

When my clock landed on seventy  I began taking note of what being a senior citizen involved. Like all phases of my life, I see this one as just another chapter in the book. I’ve pretty much accepted each chapter and enjoyed turning the pages. I think my only fear is still having a life while having no quality of life. But in the meanwhile, here’s a few of the aging thing I noticed most recently.

  • I’ve always loved to travel but in the past year or so, I’ve not been willing to venture too far from my family doctor and the medical community I’m familiar with.  Even twenty years younger I didn’t want to get too far from a Walmart and a hospital. On two Florida fishing trips, I ended up in an ER and had to get back home under adverse conditions, including a severely broken shoulder. These days going to Columbus may be too far.
  • For much of my life, I’ve heard warnings that young children and the elderly should take certain precautions such as, be sure to get your flu shot, pneumonia can be deadly for geezers so be sure to get your pneumonia shot, or colon cancer is the silent killer so with a smile say  “I’d love it”  when a proctologist asks to shove a ten-foot rubber hose up your butt.
  • A sure sign of old age and one that slowly creeps up on you is losing most connections to popular culture. Just watch the Grammy Awards or sit around listening to your grandchildren talk about what they’re doing for entertainment. You know you’re old when it all sounds like Swahili.
  • Somewhere along life’s journey waitresses and nurses began calling me honey or sweety. I’m probably on the same page with Andy Rooney with that one. Look girly, my name is Larry or Mr. Chapman. Hell, I’d even be okay with gramps.
  • One I do enjoy is having young people hold doors open for me and calling me sir. If I could only get them to salute as I pass by.

Oil Can Stilts, Did You Ever?

Back in the 1950s metal motor oil cans were everywhere and there were no American Pickers can collectors to gobble them up. Look behind most service stations and you’d find a pile of discarded oil cans leaking their remaining contents onto a thoroughly saturated and toxic plot of soil. I don’t know what eventually happened to these piles of cans but I guess junkmen came along and hauled them to Charley Cohen’s.

Continue reading Oil Can Stilts, Did You Ever?

Like One of Those Playboy Things

I don’t speak Italian and have no formal education regarding opera. I just enjoy hearing the wonderful voices of people like Pavoratti. I came across this video of him singing in a quartet of great voices. Now I have to deal with a personal question. Did I enjoy this clip because of the music or the abundance of full-frontal cleavage? Kind of like why you enjoyed Playboy. The truth was you enjoyed the nudity and the monthly centerfold. Some tried to claim, however, that they bought it just for the articles.

My Very Limited New Year’s Eve Stories

This is January 1, 2019, and so far it’s not been much different than yesterday, December 31, 2018. Two major differences are, there are far more hangovers being cared for today and there are tens of thousands of people not waiting ten to fifteen hours in the rains of New York’s Times Square for a crystal ball to be lowered at midnight. If there’s anything I can’t imagine it’s me standing in the rain with 100,000 others waiting to watch a shiny thing descend upon the earth.

When it comes to New Year Eve stories, however, those ball watchers will have a story that will far exceed anything I’ve done on New Year’s Eve. Neither Janet or I have been much for leaving the house on these occasions. In 2000 we did attend a community millennium celebration and maybe a couple of years afterward we went to a nearby neighbor’s and played Trivial Pursuit with some friends. Increasingly we don’t even bother staying up to watch the ball drop, which was the case last night. By eleven o’clock I was asleep and having dreams about when my first piss call would take place. In case you’re into these things, it was 1:22 am.

Continue reading My Very Limited New Year’s Eve Stories

Another Ambien Story

I’ve taken Ambien for years to help me go to sleep. Sleep was never a problem until a couple of back to back surgeries about ten years ago. As many of you know, Ambien has side effects that include sleep walking. We’ve talked about this before and many of you Ambien users have such stories to share.

Anyway, couple of months ago I decided to try something different and my doctor wrote me a script for Lunesta.  While it did put me to sleep it left such a horrible aftertaste in my mouth that I just had to give it up and go back to Ambien. So here’s my latest Ambien story.

Continue reading Another Ambien Story

My New Conspiracy Theory, Trust Me!

I’m tired of being the only person with a conspiracy theory to share so I’m now taking my turn.

I turned on Morning Joe and the truth just seemed to flow forth. It began with a series of video clips of Trump talking about how greedy he is and has always been. Scarborough, having been around Trump on numerous occasions, gave credence to money being of extreme importance to Trump. He said that Trump was the guy who would not let someone else make a buck off him unless he got a cut.

The topic then turned to yesterday’s revelation that Mike Cohen had established one or more shell companies to channel money through. So far investigators have  found that over four million dollars have passed through these shell companies and it seems to have come from various companies,  one with foreign connections, seeking access to Trump. If this proves the case it foretells legal problems for Cohen because he has not registered as a lobbyist or agent of a foreign entity.

Continue reading My New Conspiracy Theory, Trust Me!

The Beauty of Not Running Again

It’s a beautiful thing to witness the openness that suddenly appears when a politician decides to not seek reelection. Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah has decided not to run again and Mitt Romney has stepped forward to seek his open seat. Just like Senators Flake of Arizona and Corker of Tennessee, he now has no fear of speaking out. Check out this video of him tossing around the “dumbass” moniker.

Trae Crowder on Arming Teachers & More

Many of you are familiar with Trae Crowder, The Liberal Redneck. He’s kind of a liberal version of Jeff Foxworthy except that he says “fuck” a lot. I find him funny and often dead on in his social and political rants. Here’s Trae’s most recent take on what happened in Florida and some of the solutions offered.