SARAH PALIN says she can see Russian jets from her kitchen window.

OLD COOTS: A friend was driving through Colorado recently and, “this old coot said this COVID wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t an election year.” Proof that not everyone evolves.

COVID-19: On March 16th the virus death count in America was 60. Today, June 16th the count is above 117,000 and still rising.

MARTIN LUTHER KING: “Riots are the language of the unheard.”

RECESSION: The 1st quarter US GDP dropped by 4.8%. If the same occurs in the next 3 months the US will officially be in an economic recession.

GUN SALES: American’s bought more guns in March than they did when Obama was sworn in. Nothing scares white people more than pandemics and black presidents.

QUID PRO QUO: Trump is openly suggesting that if governors want federal Covid-19 aid they have to be nice to him. Be my friend or die, America.

HEALTH: If you’re happy and you know it, wash your hands. Dan Rather

LOS ALAMOS NATIONAL LABORATORY: LANL is attacked by hackers 3.5 million times every day. Everyone wants to know what America’s scientific magicians are up to.

TRUMP BOYS: “Whenever I saw those Trump boys all I could think was: why couldn’t they turn out more like the Menendez Brothers?” Noel Casler

CLASS of 80: If you are a member of the McClain Class of 1980 you may want to mark your calendar. Your class is planning a 40th reunion on July 11th at Buckeye Hills pavilion/shelter house, 6-11 pm. More details to follow.

BRIBERY: According to Vanity Fair and other sources, Trump seriously wants to make bribery legal in  America. “It’s just so unfair that American companies aren’t allowed to pay bribes to get business overseas. We’re going to change that.”

PATRIOTISM: “Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President.” Theodore Roosevelt, GOP President

DRINK MORE BEER: Americans are drinking less beer. In 2018 consumption was down 1.6% and the trend continues. Ciders and hard seltzers are now the things.

THINK PLASTICS: Who knew that when The Graduate’s neighbor told him to consider a career in “plastics”, we’d end up with dying oceans filled with islands of floating plastic trash three times the size of France.